Bittersweet Year

I just spent a couple hours reading every post I wrote from 2012.  I wanted to do a year end recap with a profound statement about how I was changed over the last year and how I know that 2013 is going to be great.  Well, after reading all my posts, I decided I don’t want to do that.  I have done a few “recaps” over the year and I think that they sum up 2012 pretty well.  You can go here and here to read those.  A lot has happened in the last year, the two biggest being a diagnosis of lymphoma and an amazing vacation in Maui where Shad and I celebrated our 20th Valentine’s Day together.  And that was only in January and February.  The idea of recapping the entire year feels a little over whelming and I just don’t really want to do it.

One theme that I noticed while reading all those posts was that I am so blessed to have so many wonderful, encouraging, loving family members and friends!  The comments that I read were a reminder of that.  I was teary eyed as I read each comment on any post about the lymphoma and laughed at many of the other comments.  So I guess I want to say thank you to all of my family and friends for loving on me and praying for me, and with me, over the last year.  It has meant so much and it was great to relive all of that as I went through all of my blog posts.

I think that Shad will agree with me when I say that I am nervously excited about 2013.  God is doing some stuff in us that is a little scary and a lot exciting as we move into the new year.  I will share more details about that soon.  (I’m not trying to be mysterious or secretive, we just have a lot of details to work out before we share.)  At midnight on New Year’s I switched the TV channel over from a 30 Rock rerun just as the ball was dropping.  As I listened to Shad snore softly next to me on the couch, I watched the people in Time Square sing and kiss and I got a little misty eyed.  I keep saying that I am so glad that 2012 is over because it was a hard year.  But I am also sad to see it go because I have grown so much and so has Shad.  And even though a lot of hard stuff has happened, a lot of really great things have happened too.  I guess you could say it was a bittersweet year.  And God really did use all the hard things from 2012 for my good.  He has used every event that I have been through to teach me reliance on Him, to trust Him, that He keeps His promises, that I don’t have to live in fear, and He has made me a better friend, mom and wife, He has taught me how to pray, and He has introduced us to some super wonderful friends.  With all of the hard has come so much good!  So, while I don’t want to do 2012 over again (oh my goodness, no way!), it is still hard to say good-bye.  I will take what God has taught me over the last year and move into 2013 knowing that God brought me to where I am right now for a reason and thank Him for it.

 

Happy 2013!