Getting Creative

Because Josh is 7 1/2 now, we are able give him a little more independence.  We let him go to the public restroom by himself, he can browse the next isle over at the store by himself, he can go to his friend's house three houses down independently, he can check the mail, he can unload and load the dishwasher, use the microwave and even do some multiplication in his head.  Unfortunately with his maturity comes the need to change up his discipline.  Shad and I have said many times that sometimes he is a little big for his britches.  He's figuring things out.  For example, if we ground him, he will say that he didn't want to play outside anyway and he will sit quietly reading a book most of the day.  Grounding is just not painful enough for him anymore, even if we take away the TV and computer too.  Yes, we could take away his books and Lego's, but he will find something else to do. 

So this week we had to get a little creative with our discipline after Josh got mad at Hannah, saying she was cheating at playing "crack the egg" on their cousin's trampoline.  He decided to push her down, by the face, giving her a bloody nose.  And to make matters worse his attitude was very bad and he just kept saying, "well, she was cheating."  That was it.  We had to do something that stung a little more.  Something that would truly teach him a lesson.  Shad and I talked and we came up with an assignment for Josh.

At about 1:30, I sat Josh down and gave him the instructions.  In case you can't read them, here is what I wrote:

Josh's Assignment

1.  Look up Ephesians 6:1-3 in your bible.

2.  Write Ephesians :1-3, neatly, 2 times, on a piece of lined paper.  If it is sloppy, you will do it again.

3.  Write 2 examples of how you can obey Mom and Dad.

4.  Do something nice for Hannah.

I sat Josh down and told him that he could finish his assignment in an hour or take the whole rest of summer to finish, it made no difference to me.  But he would not be aloud to do anything else until it was finished.  He seemed very calm, at first.  He headed upstairs to find his bible, which he couldn't in his tornado of a room.  He wanted to just use Hannah's bible, but I told him that I wanted him to use his, so he had to find it.  Twenty minutes later he did, but by then he was pretty annoyed, so the complaining started.  I put him in the living room, walked out and shut the doors.

After a bit, he settled down and asked me help him find the scripture, so I did.  Then I left him to his work.  He was quiet for about an hour.  He had about half of the verse written when he realized that the instructions said he had to write it twice.  So the complaining started again.  I sent him back to the living room and shut the doors.  That was when I heard the crumpling of paper.  I ignored it and went on with my day.

At about 5, I gave him the warning that our bible study group would be over in and hour and a half and if he still wasn't done, that was fine, but he would not get to play with his friends until he was done.  That spurred more complaining for a few minutes, then it got quiet.  It stayed quiet for about 45 more minutes.  By 6 o'clock, Josh emerged from the living room proclaiming, "I'm done, Mom."

On one side of his crumpled up paper he had the entire scripture written out, neatly, twice.

And on the back, his two examples of how he can show obedience to his parents.

No complaining

Say yes

I was so proud of Josh.  I thought for sure, it would take him at least a couple days to buckle down and get his assignment done.  It only took about 5 1/2 hours.  After we discussed his answers and how he was going to start implementing them into his daily life, he headed upstairs and picked up Hannah's room.

The very next day, he started to get upset that he couldn't have a snack.  He started in on the begging, when I reminded him of his assignment and what he learned.  He was reluctant, but he said OK and dropped it.

Now, I know that this will not make Josh obey every time and it surely won't make him perfect.  That wasn't even the point.  The point of his assignment was to ingrain in him God's biblical truth's about obeying his mom and dad.  The more he reads it and writes it, the more likely it is to stick with him.  We aren't just raising a boy, we are raising up a man, and I want that man to follow after Jesus, first and foremost.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 

"Honor your mother and father"-which is the

first commandment with a promise-

"that it may go well with you and that

you may enjoy a long life on the earth."

Ephesians 6:1-3

You may notice that Josh added his own little comments on his assignment sheet.  I guess he thought that Hannah needed to do this assignment, instead of him.  If only he would put that much effort into obeying and getting along with his sister.