Dishonesty and Conviction

Have you ever caught one if your kids doing something dishonest and sneaky?  And as you think about the best way to punish them for it, you realize that God may just be using this as a learning experience for you?  I have to say, I really don't like when that happens.  It makes me feel uncomfortable and a little squirmy.  Conviction will do that to a person.

The other day Josh asked if he could go on a website that one of his friends told him about at the bus stop.  I have always been pretty weary about letting the kids be on the computer, so I tend to be hesitant when this happens.  There are a few, select, websites that Shad and I have found to be fairly innocent and safe, and with the pop-blocker on we allow Josh and Hannah to spend time on them playing games.  I hadn't heard of this website and I told Josh that I would have to check it out before I decided if he could go on it.  When I did find the time to see what this website was all about, I made an account in my name and navigated my way through it.  What I found was that it was fairly innocent, however, you had to make a profile and then you make friends and they can see your profile, message you and make comments on your little town that you make.  Sound familiar?  It was like a cartoony, kid's version of FB.  Uh, no.  First of all, Josh is 7.  Way too young for social media.  Secondly, any sick-o can pretend to be an 8 year old kid on the Internet.  And lastly, what a time waster.  So, I told Josh that I didn't care for the website and I was not going to allow him to go on it.  He was mildly upset, but didn't do his usual arguing.

The next morning, as I was waking up, I could hear Josh and Shad in the family room.  From the conversation that I could hear, Shad was making Josh a user name on the computer, for, you guessed it, the very website that I had told Josh no to the night before.  (Keep in mind that I had not discussed this with Shad, yet, so he had no idea what had gone on the previous day.)  I got out of bed after Shad left for work to find Josh exploring on the website.  I asked him what he was doing and he told me that Dad said he could.  I reminded him that I told him no the day before, to which he replied, "it's no big deal, Mom.  It's fine."  Next I told him that it is no OK to go behind my back and ask dad for something after I already told him no and that Dad and I are on the same team, so if one of us says no, the other one says no, too.  Then I closed the computer and sent him to the kitchen to get breakfast.  That little turkey acted like nothing happened and was actually very snotty to me the rest of the morning before he went to the bus.  He even stood at the bus stop and discussed the website with his friend like he was now a member.  I think he thought he got one over on me and got away with it.  I was mad.

After he left for school, I went back on the website to explore a little more because I started to second guess myself.  Maybe Shad thought I was being over protective and I should give the website another chance.  I explored for about 20 minutes and all I could think the whole time was, "my kid does not need to sit and waste time in a virtual world of social media."  I got angrier.  (Not at Shad, at Josh.)  I called Shad at work to tell him what happened and he apologized to me.  He said he didn't put much time into looking at the website and agreed with me that Josh did not need to waste time and that it was not really safe for a 7 year old to have a "profile" that anyone can see.  We decided that Josh would be grounded from the computer for a week.

As I sat there putting on my makeup, I kept feeling uncomfortable about the whole situation.  Not that Josh went behind my back or that he was snotty to me, no, I'm a mom, I've seen it before.  What made me uncomfortable was me.  How much time do I spend on my form of social media(s) wasting time?  Facebook.  Pinterest.  Reading blogs.  Ouch.  I was not a fan of the conviction I was feeling.  Dang it.  There goes God, using my kid's disobedience to teach me a lesson.  I spend way too much time on the computer and not enough time with God.  Ouch.

I'm not sure how to conclude this blog post because, honestly, I have been trying really hard to ignore what happened yesterday and the conviction I was am feeling about the whole thing.  I haven't had some great awakening and made a grand plan that I will stay off the computer for a month.  But, I think that I will ask God to make me a better example to my kids and not run to the computer whenever I have down time to check and see what's happening in FB-land or what the newest pin is.  (Something may have changed since I checked an hour ago.)  At least then I won't sound like such a hypocrite when I tell Josh I think the website he wants to join is a huge time waster.  I know God doesn't use conviction to make us feel bad or guilty, although it may feel like it.  He uses it to help us see when we need to be seeking Him to help us change.  To be more like Him.  It's not easy to face, but I think I will try.

She watches over the affairs of her household,

and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life,

to put off your old self, which is

being corrupted by its deceitful desires: to be

made new in the attitude of your minds; and to

put on the new self, created to be like God

in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4:22-24