You know how you tell your kids to stop doing something over and over because you know it's not safe, not to mention it's very annoying? Ya, well, I am hoping that today is the last time I ever have to tell the kids to stop hanging on the front of the grocery care. Bethany's car seat sits on top of the cart, you know, above the spot where you would sit a kid, over the handle you push with. Josh is constantly stepping up on the cart and hanging on the push handle so that he can talk to and see Bethany. I tell him at least 18 times a shopping trip to quit it. Every time I walk back to the cart to push it I have to make him get down so I can push. And if you know Josh then you know that he is not an immediate responder, I usually have to repeat myself. Selective hearing. So today when we got to the store we weren't there 1 minute before I had to tell him to get off and that I wasn't going to tell him again...or else. I walked about 20 feet and stopped to browse some clearance baby stuff. The next thing I know both kids are hanging on the cart trying to see Bethany and guess, just guess, what happened. The entire cart tipped over onto them bringing Bethany down face first in her car seat. Thankfully I saw it just as it started to tip, catching Bethany's car seat before she hit anything (she would have landed on top of Josh and Hannah). Also, thankfully, a lady came over and moved the cart off the kids as I was trying to get the car seat flipped over with one hand. Once I assessed that everyone was alright I let them have it. I'm pretty sure that fire was shooting out of my eyes. "Now do you understand why I tell you not to hang on the cart?! Do you get it? Do you?!" Hannah's eyes were the size of saucers and she nodded yes. And Josh, my dear boy Josh who never takes responsibility for his actions, said (and I quote), "It wasn't my fault! Hannah was the one that made the cart tip over." He seriously argued with me for about a minute that he had nothing to do with what just happened. I was more angry that he was denying any fault than that it happened in the first place. I was shaking from the adrenaline rush but also because I was so angry with that boy. Does anyone know how to make a kid take responsibility for their actions? I'm serious here. He will deny fault for anything and everything. I'm at a loss.
Anyway, that was my grocery shopping trip today.
3 comments:
PRAYER!! Prayer changes people, and kids are just little people. You continue to instruct and correct, but also each night pray specificaly that God will open Josh's understanding and help him to accept responsibility for his own actions. Pray against the spirit of pride. Pride drives us to "blame shift" and to justify our actions. What is the opposite of pride? Humility! Ask God to bring true humility to Josh NOW so that as an adult he won't have to be brought low. You are an excellent teaching and God will bring examples to you that you can share with Josh what pride is and why we must combat it.
You had quite the outing today. With kids, life is NEVER dull. lol
Love you!
Kay
He may not "admit" his fault to you, but you'll see if he takes responsibility by not hanging on the cart anymore. Just curious, did he do it again during that trip?
Also, I like what Kay said. I think she's spot on!
-Cheryl Sheard
Ditto on the prayer thing, like fo' realz. God will show you exactly what to do, how to say it, and when. You are a great mom and we have so all been there with this stuff! God will give you insight into Josh's heart and maybe a Scipture to begin praying over him. Now, I know that doesn't necessarily fix the immediate problem of consequences for actions and getting him to understand in the moment. He's what, six? Five? (can't remember exactly, and what I'm about to say worked for my seven year old, so you can decide if it applies here.) Elisha disobeyed me the other day on something I had asked her repeatedly to do. This is rare for her, but on that day she decided she wanted to test authority. She told me she didn't do what I asked because she "didn't feel like it." I stopped in the moment and asked the Lord what to say back to her and how to handle this. Didn't want to overreact and didn't want to let it go either, ya know? So I said back to her (as I explained once again why it is important to obey your mom) that if I was going to go by her logic then I "didn't feel" like letting her go to Oak's Park with her grandparents that day. I wasn't mean about it, but just let it sink in and went about my business. She got the message and was given a second chance at Oak's Park pending behavior modification. Occasionally I will use their own logic to teach the lesson. Don't know if that is reasonable here, but maybe you can copy his reasoning in your own scenario? And if you have a literalist on your hands (like I do with my 4 year old) then he may really believe it wasn't his fault that the cart tipped over because it wasn't tipping when just he was on it, only when Hannah jumped on. I find with my 4 year old that I have to be very specific about cause and effect and what I expect from her in response. Didn't mean to ramble. Hope some of those thoughts help, but definitely prayer is number one! (P.S. I would've been really ticked off too, not to mention scared about my baby. You deserve some sort of chocolate or latte.)
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