Crazy

Today I did something kind of exciting yet so sad all at the same time. Yes, it's true, I took Josh school clothes shopping for the very first time! We waded through all the other crazy moms trying to get the $10 jeans in their kid's size at Old Navy. And I tried to act like I knew what I was doing because not only was it our first time in the back to school frenzy, but it was the first time I shopped for Josh in the boys section. (He is in that in between size where he can wear 5T but also 5 in boys. And the jeans were so picked through that I was able to get him a couple in boys and a couple in toddlers.) It was another one of those bittersweet moments where you want your kids to grow up and keep moving up in life, but it is so hard to watch it happen all at the same time. Just like my post yesterday. No body ever told me being a mom would make a person so bipolar! One minute I'm so excited to see my kids getting older then the next I am clinically depressed about it! One minute I know that I do not want to even attempt having another child (what am I...INSANE?) and the next minute I am almost tearful even thinking about the idea of never giving birth again. Yes, I am insane, my favorite part about having kids it the labor and delivery. Could be due to awesome anesthesiologists that have a magic touch for the epidural, I don't know. Actually it is the calming peace that comes over me knowing that a life is going to be ripped, er, gently pushed from my loins. Seriously. Anyway I am off the subject a bit. I just wish someone would have warned me that being a mom means having to accept the fact that I am a little wacko and it is OK because most moms are. (I know this because I have a lot of mom friends, and I love and appreciate all of you!) So I will just continue on and stop trying to figure out how to make my kids back into babies. They are going to grow up, they are growing up and there is nothing I can do about it. Except maybe have a new one each time I feel sad that the ones I already have are getting too big? Uh, maybe not. I shall press on and try to act not insane...until next month when I have to go buy school supplies...and the day I have to drop Joshy off at school for the first time.... **Sigh**