Things Change

Today I put a packet of papers in the mail along with a rather large check.  Once these things reach their destination and get processed, Shad and I will officially be contracted with an agency for an international adoption.  This has been several months (or years) in the making. 

Many changes have occurred since I last blogged about saying yes to adoption.  (If you want to be refreshed, you can read about it here.)  First of all, without sharing too many details, the boys in Haiti are currently being cared for by their mom and grandma.  This is HUGE and wonderful.  God definitely  used that situation to open our hearts to adoption, but He also closed that door pretty quickly.  It was amazing to be able to be a part of helping a family all the way in Haiti stay together.  God is good.

Once we were sure that we were not supposed to adopt those boys, we decided to move forward with an international adoption in Haiti.  We filled out an online application with an agency that has Christian values, is reputable and comes highly recommended by two of my friends that are currently adopting through them.  After we submitted the application, we waited.  And waited.  It was about 5 weeks after, and an email or two later on my part, before we heard from the agency.  I was told by a friend that it should not take that long to hear back (and it shouldn’t have), but Shad and I needed some time to digest what we were doing, so the long wait was actually really a good thing for us.

This is the disappointing part.  We were told by the agency that they are excited to help us with an international adoption, however, Haiti may not be the right fit for us.  Actually, they told us that, after speaking with their contact person in Haiti, they did not think that we would be accepted as adoptive parents by the Haitian government due to my recent lymphoma.  **Cancer strikes again!**  She went on to explain that in Haiti they do not have the technology or treatments that we do in the US, so they do not tend to be lenient when adoptive parents have had or have cancer.  Also, Shad and I were going to need a waiver from the Haitian government for 2 other things, so it just didn’t look good for us.  I was extremely disappointed by this news.  Haiti was where my heart was.  I thought that was where God was calling us to.  But it is the agency's job to go before us and know whether we would be successful in an adoption before we go forward.  We could be a year down the road and thousands of dollars in and have the outcome be exactly the same as it is now.  Shad asked me, “why would we move forward with something that we already know is going to fail.”  Wise words.

Our agency said that we would be a much better fit to adopt from Bulgaria.  Bulgaria?  I don’t even know where Bulgaria is on a map!  Seriously, Bulgaria?  Well, after talking with Shad and praying about it, I realized that I was going to have to let Haiti go and I was starting to feel like maybe Bulgaria is where our fourth child is.  I called the agency to let them know our decision.

That phone call really got the ball rolling.  We have had an orientation call with our case manager and have filled out and had notarized all of our contract paperwork with the agency.  And, like I said, once they receive it and process it, we are really in it.  We will start our dossier paperwork which is a portfolio of paperwork that will be sent to Bulgaria for us to be placed with a  child.  It is very labor intensive, so it takes families, on average, about 4 months to fill out.  During that time we will also do some training and have a home study done.  For a home study, a social worker comes to our house and spends time with our family, then writes a recommendation for us that goes along with the dossier to Bulgaria.  Once the Bulgarian government receives our dossier, we wait.  It usually takes 12-24 months for them to process our paperwork and match us with a child that fits the parameters that we specify in the dossier.  Right now, we know we would be fine with a  boy or a girl.  The agency highly recommends that we stay in birth order, so we will probably say a child between the ages of 0-3 for now.  That may change.

Once we get a referral from Bulgaria, we will travel there about 4 weeks later to meet the kiddo, in real life!  This is exciting and scary all at the same time.  We will travel across the world, to a country where we don’t speak the language and meet a child that we don’t know (but was preordained for our family before any of us were even born).  We will spend about a week there bonding and, I imagine, doing more paperwork.  Next we come home and wait about 2 months for the Bulgarian government to process the adoption and get a visa/passport for our child to travel home with us.  Once that is done, we go back and bring our fourth child home to start a new life. 

Everything I described about the process is generally speaking.  Timelines differ from adoption to adoption and things can change at the drop of a hat.  All of that being said, it looks like it could be 3-4 years before we actually bring our child home.  Shad and I realize that that is a long time, but we are in it for the long haul.  It will be a whole new experience for Shad and I and the kids.  (By the way, Josh and Hannah are excited and each have an opinion on the sex and age of their new brother or sister.)  Since this all began I have felt trepidation, fear, anxiety, doubt and an amazing peace all at the same time.  I know that God is calling us to this and that is where the peace is coming from.  I hope that you will join us as we walk this journey and we would love your prayers, too.  Prayers that no matter what happens with this adoption journey, God will get all the glory.

God has given us two bible verses since this journey began back in November:

Whether you turn to the

right or to the left, your ears will

hear a voice behind you, saying,

“This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

Scoundrels use wicked

methods,

they make up evil schemes

to destroy the poor with lies,

even when the plea of the

needy is just.

But the noble make noble

plans,

and by noble deeds they stand.

Isaiah 32:7-8