Update to yesterday...

Yesterday was a tough day.  What I thought was a varicose vein was giving me a run for my money.  I was miserable and totally in my head all day long.  Well, last night, it even got worse.  I will try very hard to tell this story without sharing too much information or grossing you out.  Uh, ya.

So the pain just got worse and worse as the day wore on.  I could hardly sit.  All I could think was how the doctor said these thing don't go away until after the baby is born and the extra blood volume goes back to normal in my body.  Ugh!  I still have 6 weeks to go.  How am I ever going to survive?  Perspective, I kept telling myself, buck up, it could be a lot worse.  I was keeping an eye on the thing because the doctor and I were not one hundred percent sure that it was a varicose vein, it could also be an ingrown hair (gross, I know).  So finally last night as the pain got worse I decided to take a peek at the thing.  (Keep in mind that this is quite the ordeal as it is not in an easily viewable spot for a woman with a giant belly.) 

As soon as I saw it, I wanted to cry.  Nope, not a vein, definitely an infection.  My mind started going over every worse case scenario I could come up with as a nurse.  I will spare you the details of where my mind took me, but I am sure my nurse friends have some ideas.  After we got the kids to bed, I told Shad that I was going to have to go to Urgent Care in the morning and get this thing taken care of.  That was when the dam finally broke and I just started to cry.  I was so embarrassed and miserable.  I was glad to know that I was not going to have to live with this thing for the next 6 weeks, that I could get it taken care of.  But the down side was, I was going to have get this taken care of.

Shad was great.  He consoled me, told me I was being a little overly dramatic and prayed for me.  And through the conversation I realized what a humbling experience this was.  Nothing much more humbling than walking into the doctor and having to get that thing taken care of.  So I resolved myself that that was what was going to have to happen.  I was also upset because I had big plans to go to lunch and shopping with Maria and Sarah for the day and I didn't want to miss out on that either.  But I bucked up and we went to bed. 

Well, when I woke up this morning I layed in bed thinking for awhile and I came to the conclusion that maybe I would take one more look at the thing and see if I could take care of it myself.  I hopped out of bed and headed into the bathroom and guess what?  The thing had taken care of itself in the night.  It barely even hurt anymore.  Oh, thank you God!  No Urgent Care for me!  I was almost beside myself with elation and thankfulness.

The reason I share this story is not to gross you out.  It's about humility.  I have been so in my head this week, wondering when the baby is going to come.  I almost had myself convinced that the baby was going to come this week because of the contractions I had at the beginning of this week.  I was beside myself with anticipation for my OB appointment on Thursday morning.  I just knew when I told the doctor about the contractions he would check me and I would be starting to dilate, then the baby would come the next day or so.  I mean that's what happened with Josh and Hannah.  So when I woke up on Thursday with this very sore spot, I was even more convinced that he would want to check me.  When I saw him and told him about the contractions and the sore spot, he was less than excited, and said keep an eye on the spot and I'll see you in 2 weeks.  I was so disappointed and a little mad.  This is not how I had it worked out in my mind at all.  Not only am I not going into labor (the contractions have stopped as of Thursday) I have to deal with this thing too. 

Sometimes it takes something small and even a little gross to bring a person back to reality.  I am not in control of this pregnancy, when the baby will come or even if I have any complications.  God is in control.  I am not saying He caused this ingrown hair, but He definitely used it show me some humility.  And I am so thankful for it!  Patiently and joyfully I will wait.  And for now I will enjoy a day out with my girls.  Thank you, God, for this life!