Reality

I've got this really great kid that I just love so very much. He is so intuitive, smart and so sensitive. If you read this blog regularly you will remember a post from a week ago when I inadvertently took him, and his sister, to see a movie that turned out to be too scary for him. You may also remember how he told me that I wasn't his special mom anymore because I took him to the movie that makes him have bad dreams. As a mom it definitely ripped my heart out to hear that. But I also took it as a learning tool for me and the kids. If you missed the post you can go here to read about it.

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Well this Christmas has brought up a new subject of learning for Josh, Shad and I. First of all is the whole Santa thing. I haven't pushed the issue but he has been asking a lot of questions from what he has seen on TV and because we watched "The Polar Express." I have been as vague as possible because I really want my kids to know the true story of Christmas, Jesus, and not so much about Santa. Not to mention it is a lot of work to carry the whole Santa thing out, and I kind of feel like I am lying to them if I go along with it. So in trying to avoid the whole subject I have been forced to face it. Life is funny that way.

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Second Josh is having to learn how to be a gracious receiver of gifts, whether or not we like the gift we were given. And mostly whether or not we received every thing we were hoping to this Christmas. So Shad and I have had several talks with him, and Hannah, about saying thank you when we open a gift and leaving it at that. Hannah has had no problem with this. Josh was doing well until last night when he was overcome with sugar overload, tiredness and the post new gift let down. So we left my parent's house with a boy crying crocodile tears because he "never gets everything he wants" and "Santa didn't bring him any gifts." There was no reasoning with him because he was there, at the wall that he hit full force with his face! So we dragged him out to the car with as much grace as possible saying "thank you" through gritted teeth.

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Today as I sat on the floor building with Josh I decided to bring it up. We talked about all the cool toys he opened yesterday and how he had wanted all those toys before he got them. While he did agree with me he could not let go of the fact that he didn't get a Transformer and that Santa didn't bring him anything. So I made a choice right then and there. It may not have been the right one, but I said it anyway. "Josh, Santa is just pretend. He doesn't really come to your house and give you gifts. He is just a guy in a costume. He is just pretend." He really didn't have much to say. He asked a few questions, but he really didn't get too upset. I don't know if he believed me, but I will stick with it. I never remember believing in Santa and my parents didn't do gifts from Santa, I survived just fine.

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I also explained to him that he got several gifts that he wanted for Christmas and that it is OK to not have everything that we want all the time. That conversation was more painful for him. I guess because it was about reality and not pretend. I don't know how much he absorbed from our conversation. I just don't want to leave our last Christmas, tomorrow, dragging a crying boy out of Grandma's house because he still didn't get a Transformer. I am half tempted to just go buy him one today, wrap it and give it to him tomorrow just so I don't have to listen to it anymore. But that would pretty much make our conversation pointless, wouldn't it? I guess I will just continue to do my best and secretly pray that someone on Shad's side of the family got Josh a Transformer from Santa.

He looks happy here, anyway...