Joshua Lee

My boy. My spirited little boy. Spirited and sensitive. Spirited, sensitive and tends to hold on to things.

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It started out a nice morning. The kids and I slept in until 9 am. Josh and Hannah were both chipper and cute. And Josh didn't have an accident as he has had a few in the last 2 weeks, I think due to busy weekends and not a lot of sleep.

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After getting dressed and the whole morning routine, that went smoothly, it was time for errands. Joshua usually complains and says he doesn't want to go, but he left quite nicely this morning. He decided to wear his pirate scarf on his head because "I don't want people to know who I am." Ok, whatever. At Home Depot I went against my better judgement and let him wear the scarf into the store and I let the kids ride in the giant, ridiculous, why in the heck did they even invent those stupid things, car carts. They begged, I told them the rules and off we went. While looking at paint colors Josh started making trouble when he realized that his steering wheel was a little sticky and didn't turn as well as Hannah's. So he decided that the best way to deal with it was to try to crowd himself into Hannah's side of the seat and push her over to his side. (Did I mention I despise those carts?) So when I told him to cut it out or he was going to get out, he chose not to cut it out. So out of the cart he came and with him came a large fit! Stomping feet, screaming and clenched fists. So I calmly pulled him aside and told him that he WILL get a spanking if this continues. Of course I am always thinking in the back of my mind about whether or not that should occur in the store, in front of people, or when we get to the car, or do I take him into the bathroom. Thankfully he took my threat seriously and promptly changed his attitude. PHEW!

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Our next stop was Wal*Mart. Oh my favorite place! And as we were getting out of the car and I was telling Hannah that she cannot bring her doll into the store because we don't want to lose it or forget it in the store, I noticed that Josh was no longer wearing his pirated scarf. And, once again, against my better judgement I asked him where it was. I instantly regretted asking that question because I knew the answer. The crying and screaming began! "It's at Home Depot!! Go back and get it!!" I remained calm and decided to use this as an example for both of them. So I calmly stated, "Now, you guys, this is exactly why I don't let you bring toys into the store because we forget them." Josh continued screaming for me to go back and get it. Maybe I am a mean mom, but I wanted them both to learn, so I told him no. (Now it's not like this is some beloved toy. He found it in the bottom of the toy box when he was looking for his sunglasses before we left. I'm pretty sure it was a McDonald's toy.) Then began the frantic, somewhat crazed, 4 year old freak out! I told him he had 2 more minutes to be sad and then it was time to stop crying so we could go get our groceries. 2 minutes came and went and the crying continued. So I thought maybe actually getting out of the car into the scorching 97 degree heat would help him and I calm down. I don't know why, but it did not work. That was when I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I told everyone to get back in the car because we are going home.

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So as I was driving toward home and thinking about how I have no garbage bags and nothing to make for dinner tonight Josh started to calm down and say that he was glad that we were going home because he didn't want to go to Wal*Mart anyway. Sometimes my stubbornness gets the best of me and in this case it did. So I turned the car around and said "we're going back to the store because we need groceries!" But what I really meant was, "Fine! Then we are going back to the store because you do not get out of shopping just because you threw a fit! I am not going to give you what you want!" As we pulled into the parking lot the complaining began, "I don't want to go to the store! I want to go home!" And then I got a great idea, controversial even to me, but it was great! (CAUTION: Some may find this style of parenting offensive, but, well, that's life.) So I started thinking about the spanking spoon at home and how sometimes all we have to do is set it in the room next to the child and it is enough to motivate them to do what they need to do with no more complaining. But it was at home, I mean, come on, I'm not a bully, I don't carry it in my purse! So I told Josh that we were going to go into the store and get a wooden spoon and set it in the cart. If he could make it through the shopping with no more complaining or crying that I would put it back on the shelf before we leave the store. If he continued to cry and complain, then I would buy the spoon and give him a spanking when we got to the car. I think he thought I was bluffing, but when we got in the store, we marched straight to the kitchen section and I set the spoon in the cart. It was pretty amazing, but it worked! The attitude adjusted quite quickly and he even held the spoon and pretended like it was a fishing pole. At one point he said, "Mom I'm going to give myself a spanking," and started to whack himself on the bottom.

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Needless to say that I did not have to buy the spoon, I did not have to spank him and we had a pretty pleasant shopping trip. Now I know that this experience was not handled the best by me, but I did the best I could without freaking out and yelling or spanking in anger, even though I know that it is almost a normal occurrence to see down at the Wal*Mart. I am just thankful that we now have garbage bags, milk, bread (even though Hannah smooshed it in the cart by sitting on it) and tacos for dinner tonight and we accomplished it in a somewhat civilized way. Also I think Josh learned a couple of lessons. 1)Don't take your toys in the store. 2)Don't throw a fit at Home Depot. 3)I will not get one of those car carts again (but I'm sure they'll talk me into it again after the trauma from this trip wears off). 4)And when Mom says no more complaining she means it! But also that I love my boy and just want to teach him to be obedient.

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Side note: I just put the kids in their rooms for nap time (for Hannah) and quiet time (for Josh). Josh made no objections to going to his room, went straight to his bed, covered up and said he was going to sleep today. And then he insisted on giving me a hug and a kiss before I left the room. That little booger just kills me! I love his spiritedness and wouldn't trade it for anything. God made him how he is and I will continue to allow Him to teach me how to encourage Josh without letting him be a fit thrower. It's a challenge that Shad and I embrace with enthusiasm and lot's of faith!

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